Amusing Anecdotes on Indian Red Tape (A compilation of hilarious moments in the inscrutable and dreaded bureaucracy)

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There are significant variations in the administration in India. At the top level, the state administration is divided into a number of departments (typically thirty-five). The Secretary to the government is the administrative head of the department. He is a very senior officer. The Secretary usually reports to the Minister of the department in the State Government (or to the Advisor to the Governor during President's Rule). Important policy decisions are taken by the Council of Ministers or the Cabinet.

Under a department, there may be one or more state-level set-ups. And there may be sub-offices (and sub-sub-offices et cetera) depending on various factors. An office may be functionally under one or more departments depending on work allocation among the departments. There are autonomous bodies owned, controlled, aided and/or sponsored by the government, which are legal entities different from the government, albeit akin to the government in many respects.

In our federal structure, there are elected governments as also legislatures at the Central and State levels. There may be elected or nominated autonomous bodies, such as in tribal areas, which function like the government. Moreover, there are elected or nominated representatives in various tiers of local bodies.

'Collector' is the officer under the State Government in charge of the general administration of a district. He is variously known as Deputy Commissioner (DC), District Magistrate (DM) and Collector et cetera. The Sub-Divisional Magistrate (SDM) is the officer in-charge of the general administration and land revenue of a sub-division in a district. He is variously known as Sub-Divisional Officer (SDO) and Sub-Collector et cetera. The SDM reports to the collector of the district.

Generally, the territory of a district is divided into a number of non-overlapping sub-divisions, typically four. The territory of a district is also divided into a number of non-overlapping rural blocks (typically ten) and urban areas (typically four), rural blocks and urban areas being disjointed. The Block Development Officer (BDO) is in charge of a rural block. The rural block is divided into a number of village panchayats (typically thirty).

The district level set-up of the State Police is headed by the Superintendent of Police (SP). Similarly, the district level set-up of the Forest Department is headed by the Divisional Forest Officer (DFO). It is not essential that the revenue, police and forest districts be coterminous.

As a rule of thumb, if any post is denoted by X, then the following posts are in declining order of seniority: Chief X, Principal X, X, Additional X, Joint X, Deputy X, Under X, and Assistant X. Thus, Additional Superintendent of Police is senior to Deputy Superintendent of Police, X being Superintendent of Police.

Moreover, the word 'special' often appears to mean somewhat the opposite of 'better than ordinary', as in Officer-on-Special Duty (who may have no duty assigned at all!), and Special Secretary (who may have to take orders from the ordinary Secretary of the department!)

On the other hand, as if by ludicrous design, the word 'general' often means 'very senior to, or, extraordinary'. For example, Major General, General Manager, Director General, Accountant General, and Post Master General are much more senior to a Major, Manager, Director, Accountant, and Post Master respectively.

Preface

In Amusing Anecdotes on Indian Red Tape, I have attempted to compile anecdotes and witticisms pertaining to the bureaucracy in India. Whereas some of the anecdotes and witticisms have been collected from informal talks during get-togethers of senior bureaucrats, the others have been collected from lighter moments during formal meetings. Some of these might have originated from real-life situations, and others might be based entirely on loose talk.

The anecdotes and witticisms are from different sections of bureaucracy and different parts of the country, though there may be slight preponderance of the IAS and the IPS, and of the eastern and north-eastern regions. Certain theoretical concepts on bureaucracy have also been indicated at appropriate places.

Anecdotes and witticisms on bureaucracy have the propensity to appear so scandalous and sensational as to be classified 'hardcore stuff'. However, this compilation is devoid of ribaldry. It is meant only to induce some cheer at the expense of red tape, which is usually supposed to give only jeers. While the anecdotes appear amusing, nonetheless, these provide profound insight into the functional behaviour of red tape.

These anecdotes are to be taken in lighter vein, as a literary exercise, and not as a serious commentary on the state of affairs amidst the bureaucracy in India. The anecdotes are not normative or prescriptive. I tend to the believe in the spirit of Max Weber's theory on bureaucracy that the bureaucracy is capable of attaining the highest degree of efficiency. And that it is capable of becoming the most rational means of exercising authority over human beings. It is our duty to increase the efficiency of the administration.

I hope that the insights into red tape provided by this collection will have a salubrious effect. Humour always improves the depth of our comprehension. It also provides relief to bureaucrats from daily drudgeries and pressures of the grind, and vivifies the otherwise dull milieu.

All characters in the anecdotes are fictitious and do not refer to any real person, dead or alive. I have taken the liberty of narrating some anecdotes in the first person. However, I must aver that there is nothing autobiographical in this compilation. None of the stories or comments is from personal experience, though my experience as an insider in bureaucracy has undoubtedly facilitated better appreciation.

As already pointed out, this collection is based primarily on gossip and hearsay amidst gatherings of senior bureaucrats. Some anecdotes were heard in more than one situation and with some variations. It is very difficult to pinpoint the provenance of such gossip and hearsay. Therefore, it is difficult to acknowledge those who have helped me, directly or indirectly, with the stories and comments.

I am thankful to my father Gauri Shanker Sahu, my wife Sunita, my brother Mukesh and my brother-in-law Sanjay Kumar for their valuable contributions. I am also thankful to the Editor, SK Roy, for his cooperation. Last but not the least, I am also grateful to my daughters, Sangh Mitra ('Twinkle') and Shruti ('Sneh') for their unflinching cooperation. I have worked on this book during my leave and on holidays, which I should have dutifully devoted to them.

The views expressed in this book do not reflect the views of the Government.

Back of the Book

The book illustrates how BABUDOM runs the country:
Under heaps of files…by sitting on them
Overworking…by running around in circles
Following the rules in letter – forgetting the spirit
In goody-goody officialese – to conceal barbs In service of the nation… implying 'Me First'
By dancing… to the tune of politicians
With infallibility… by passing the buck
Without breaking rules… by bending them
With utmost impartiality… on paper!

A humorous yet objective account by a senior bureaucrat, the book contains 240 engrossing anecdotes on various aspects of India's infamous bureaucracy. Written in a lucid, captivating style with an eye on authenticity, Amusing Anecdotes on Indian Red Tape will amuse, amaze and entertain you from cover to cover.

Barun Kumar Sahu, 33, is an Indian Administrative Service (IAS) officer, Manipur-Tripura cadre, 1992 batch. He also holds a Bachelor of Technology (Honours) degree in Computer Science and Engineering from IIT, Kharagpur.

He has held several senior positions under the Government of Tripura and has rich experience of public policy formulation and administration.

The author also contributes articles on current affairs ad news analysis as a hobby.