Freedom in Relationship (Moments with Oneself)

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“No human being, now or before. Can remain or make one’s life without relating to the world. Relating is both inevitable and a necessity. When it is inevitable, then one should necessarily know how to relate without being bound.

A relationship is built only by relating and it involves understanding. When you understand your own limitations, your mind and everything about it is very clear to you, then you accept the other person’s virtues and are kind to his or her limitations. You then have appreciation, love, compassion, understanding and freedom in relationship.”

The subject matter of relationship and freedom, although very topical, I would say, is an ancient topic because no human being, now or before, can remain r make one’s life without relating to the world. Relating becomes both inevitable and a necessity. When it is inevitable, then one should necessarily know how to relate without being bound.

I find there are two types of relationship. One is dispensable, replaceable relationship; the other is indispensable, irreplaceable relationship. For instance, you are a son or daughter; the relationship between you and your parents is not replaceable. You cannot replace your mother or your father. The fact of your being born to these parents is already established and therefore, as an individual, you have an indispensable relationship with your parents. Similarly, if one has a brother or sister, it is an indispensable relationship. ‘Our cannot alter the fact of your being a sister or brother.

The dispensable relationships, for instance, are neighbors, friends, employer-employee, and even husband and wife—a relationship that seems to be dispensable these days. (Laughter). Suppose, however, a child is born to both of you, then both of you are stuck, please understand. Two people may live a separate life. There may be a separation between husband and wife. Yet, if they are parents to a child, I do not think you can completely dispense with the relationship. Thus, we must distinguish the dispensable from an indispensable relationship.

Besides people, you are related to your own physical body, to your mind, to your senses and it is not a dispensable relationship. As long as you are alive you are indispensably connected to all of them.

Your relating to the world, the world in general, is indispensable. You can shift yourself from one place to another, but still you will have to relate to the world. You cannot escape from the world. It is going to be there wherever you go. The world may vary. There may be fewer bugs or more bugs or it may be less cold or colder. There may be less sun or more sun. There may be less green or greener. It may be less prosperous or more prosperous, less civilized, more civilized, less cultured, more cultured fewer animals, more animals, or fewer peoples more people. Whatever it may be, you will have to face a world.

You have to relate to the stars, you have to relate to the forces, the natural forces that govern the universe. I3eyond these relationships, if there is a God and you have a concept of Him, then you have to relate to Him too. Thus, certain relationships you find are inevitable and certain relationships are evitable, which you can avoid. Now, unless you understand the inevitable as something inevitable, there is no necessity for you to really come to terms with your relationship with them.