Pati: Husband (In the Eyes of Wife)

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A man has many roles to play in life––a son, brother, husband, householder and father. The most important of these roles is that of husband. Only after becoming a husband a man becomes a householder and father.

Epics, Puranas and other literature extol the role of a husband and list a number of dos and don’ts so that he can lead a chaste life and earn virtues and good reputation for himself as well as for his family. It is said that a husband is the source of dream and destination, he sets the way and speed, his positive attitude results in creativity, inspiration and happiness in the family, and for any wife, the husband is the ultimate truth and shrine.

This book is a small attempt to express the love, affection, respect and feelings of a wife for her husband with the objective to inspire all men to become caring husbands. In Hindu thought Lord Shiva is considered a perfect husband, and women observe vrats on Mondays and pray that they should get good husbands like Shiva. The Kogatas have beautified the book with pleasing illustrations depicting Shiva as the perfect husband and Uma or Parvati as the perfect wife.

Mr R.N. Kogata and Mrs Lalita Kogata have probably the world’s biggest creation and collection of more than 7,800 types of statues/idols and paintings of Lord Ganesha. They run a Ganesha Gallery as well in Udaipur, Rajasthan. Other books authored by them are Maa - the Mother, Pita - the Father, Pati - the Husband in the eyes of Wife, Insaan and Indian Marriage - Customs and Rituals.

The Kogata couple have already created 1,000 different paintings of Lord Ganesha based on the 1,000 names of the elephant-faced god Ganesha as given Hindu scriptures. Mr. Kogata is a Chartered Accountant and Company Secretary by profession and Mrs Kogata is post-graduate and a part Company Secretary. They have two sons, Devashish and Kushagra. Devashish is also an artist and has already made more than 700 pencil sketches on Lord Ganesha.

It is said that it is far better to marry an old man or a poor or even an ugly man if he loves you, rather than to marry a young, rich and handsome bachelor who pays no heed to you.

A man is the leading householder and has many roles to play–a father, a son, a husband, a brother and so on ––and he takes care of the whole family in all these roles. He earns the livelihood, sustain the family and society, perform some daily rites and repay the debts both financial and social. A man is always tested in four ways: with reference to his family, conduct, quality and action, just as gold is tested in four ways: by rubbing, breaking, heating and beating.

It is said that truth is male, faith is female; mind is husband, speech is wife; wherever the husband is, there is wife too. As husband, he is the pride and honour for wife; his role as friend and companion makes life smoother. A husband is source of dream and destination, he sets the way and speed, his positive attitude results in creativity, inspiration and happiness in the family, his love and affection creates a better environment in the family, and for a wife, the husband is the ultimate truth and shrine. Therefore, a husband should become part of her dreams and her friend; avoid inhibitions coming in the way; talk, walk and think together; understand and listen patiently; realize her hard work and sacrifice; encourage, respect and allow her to fulfil her wishes; pay her compliments and appreciate her work, gestures and ideas and do everything for her with inner joy of giving.

In our words, a caring husband has these ingredients- H for Humorous, U for Understanding, S for Strong, B for Bold, A for Adventurous, N for Navigator and D for Demanding.

This book is a small attempt by us to express the love, affection, respect and feelings of a wife for her husband with the help of beautiful adjectives with the objective to inspire all the husbands to become perfect caring husbands.

We are grateful to His Highness Shreeji Arvind Singh Mewar for his worthy guidance from time to time. We prostrate before our parents Shri Bhairav Lal Kogata and Smt Kanchan Devi Kogata and Prof K. M. Nuwal and Smt Kamla Devi Nuwal and all our family members for their beloved blessings, without which we would not have reached this stage.